I Have Failed

I keep on writing and keep on spilling my heart. Nothing I say and nothing I can do that has the cure for sadness in this world. I wish I had a cure for everyone’s pain. Why is that I can feel everyone’s pain and I experience that every moment in my mind. This mind will be the end of me and it will still not end on the mercy of death that I will still feel this torture. Why can’t I ignore suffering, why can’t I close my eyes? Why am I not like everyone else, most people are blessed with blindness and are saved by their selfish desires, there naïve ideas and failure to see in one another’s hearts. This world is not for me, I have failed myself. Not that I have failed in life, I have failed to understand this world.

Why is it that when you are the one with all the gifts god has given you and yet you know nothing of what you do. We have our abilities as a normal human has, we see, we hear, we feel and we have the full dominance of what we think and what we imagine. Yet with all these signs and all these gifts we fail to use them. Indeed we remain blind, deaf, expressionless and with no fear of our actions what so ever. I have a mind and that helps we to think and imagine, that not every difficult it understand, is it? So whatever we do we do it with our mind, plan things out and imagine ahead. Knowing this, imagine if a person is inflicting pain onto another person. We all know what pain feels like and no one is unaware to that fact. If you don’t imagine placing a knife on your arm and then slowly cut yourself, experience what it feels like, measure the pain with your blood and learn about pain. So as I said when a person is inflicting pain onto another person. Why is he so empty in thoughts, why can’t he imagine the pain that he is creating? How is he so normal to the pain that he is bringing? He can see the blood, he can hear his victim’s screams, he indeed can imagine his pain. Just if you were on the other side of the knife, how would you feel then! Why do we keep making evil when we know that evil is always bad.

Where did we lost our way and where did we go wrong? No one has my answer truly. The closet I have reached to the answer was discovering fear. Fear is something that actually drives and guides us. All evil is powerless but as long as it has fear at its arsenal, it will keep on defeating us. We all fear something, whatever we do or don’t do is controlled by fear. Where ever we look we can find an example in the simplest of things. Our cloths, your speech, our thoughts are all restricted by it. We fear of being judged, mocked, unloved , being left alone, being powerless and even if we have nothing to fear , we still fear that it might not stay that way. What the world needs is protection from evil and fear. The answer is simple, this answer is current no matter what you do and where ever you apply it. The answer is with Allah, the protection is with Allah. So when you fear Allah and are under his protection you need not fear anything in this world or afterworld. That is my escape. This is my answer and its okay that I have failed. It’s fine if I have failed to understand this world. I’m at peace with my Allah where I can never lose hope and I will never be disappointed.

I have tried a lot to break you, but now I’m at my end. I cannot do any more than this.


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